Routinely, my physician asks, “How did you get here today?” When I tell him I drove to his office on my own, he asks with astonishment, “You still drive?”
Perhaps, as he reviews my history before stepping into the examining room, he notes my age and assumes that I am no longer capable behind the wheel. He has no way of knowing that in my 81 years I have received only two moving violation tickets.
I took an AARP refresher course to convince my family that I was still a competent driver. Image my consternation when the instructor admitted that he was blind in one eye, had lawsuits pending regarding vehicular accidents — in one he backed into a woman pushing a baby stroller — and best of all, he had Alzheimer’s. After eight hours of his teaching, I felt as capable as a NASCAR driver.
Still the association of age with loss of driving skills is worrisome. While leaving a manicure shop, the technician called out, “Someone picking you up?” I assured her I would be just fine driving myself.
I am ambivalent about being old. On the one hand, I try to dress stylishly and keep my hair up-to-date. And I must admit that I was flattered when my new physical therapist expressed surprise at how I looked after he first checked my medical history listing all my ailments and surgeries. I wasn’t nearly as decrepit as expected. On the other hand, I relish the senior citizen perks at concert, theater, and movie venues.
Once I had a university student who was a newcomer from China. He worked nights as a waiter in a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown and told of a puzzling event that occurred there.
One evening a middle-aged Anglo couple placed their dinner order and expressed surprise at how quickly he brought them the food. My student explained, “We always serve the elderly first.”
Immediately, the customers called over the manager to complain that being called “elderly” offended them. After apologizing to the couple, the manager called his waiter into the other room and scolded him for calling the couple “elderly.” My student was confused for in his culture the elderly receive the highest respect. He could not understand why anyone would reject being held in high esteem.
Norine Dresser
Norine's New Life @80 