My husband, Harold Dresser, died on February 2, 2007. For the 10 year anniversary of his death, I wanted to commemorate the occasion in a special way.
I had his name and death date engraved on a gold plated marker that hangs on a Memorial Wall inside the Alevy Chabad Center, an Orthodox Jewish place of worship here in Las Cruces. On the date of his death, the light adjacent to his name will burn brightly. Then for the rest of the month the light will merely flicker.
Recently, when I went to see the marker for the first time, the rabbi kindly turned on the light so that I could take a photo to send to my non-local offspring. Harold’s name alone stirred sorrow within me, but with the adjacent glowing light, the sadness intensified.
There are many ways to remember a deceased loved one. In Cruces, I often see memorial car rear windshields as exemplified below.
Commonly, fatal auto wrecks are commemorated with floral displays and crosses at the site of the carnage.
Back to the Jewish tradition, every year we light a candle (Yahrzeit candle) that burns for 24 hours marking the death date. But with my night prowler cat, Sweetie Beattie, it is dangerous having an unattended burning candle while I sleep, so I have switched to an electric one that does the job safely.
What are the ways in which you memorialize a deceased loved one? I would like to know and share the information with others.
Norine Dresser is a folklorist feeling sad at this time of the year.